Blogs

Reflections of the ministers and senior staff.

Blogs

Reflections of the ministers and senior staff.
3 minutes reading time (559 words)

Community in Times of Challenge

Community in Times of Challenge

In September of 2020, my mother’s chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) had worsened to the point that it was suggested she enter hospice care. She was living in Missouri in the home she had lived in for 38 years. I was living in California and working as a hospice chaplain. The next day, she had a fall at home. The hospice told me it was important to get there quickly and help make some choices. While the fall was not as bad as they had anticipated, they were right. My mother was entering a new stage of her disease and needed my support as she did. Over the course of the next month, she would decline quickly, entering an assisted living and after a couple of weeks going into a deep sleep followed by her eventual passing.

I remember in the beginning of that process (and really at so many points throughout) thinking “This is too much. What next?” For as you know, we were in the middle of isolating due to COVID-19. I was hopping on a plane and flying halfway across the country to figure out something I had never had to do before.

I think back to that time and realize a large part of what got me through was my spiritual community. I remember reaching out to a friend of mine who was also a hospice chaplain who gave me words of friendship, and also words of soothing. I checked in with the ministers I had connected with to wrestle with the meaning of everything challenging that was colliding at that time. And I remember the group chat I had with some of my Unitarian Universalist minister friends. Some days we were struggling with isolation. Some days we were talking about the health care challenges with my mother and our other family members. Some days we shared pictures of the orange sky due to the fires in California. We held those challenges together, the sorrow, the pain. But some days, we would get on a voice chat and, from our separate houses play a rousing game of Mario Kart, water flowers on each other’s Animal Crossing islands, or even get on a video chat and try to put together the most ridiculous outfits we could find.

One of the places where community is most important is in the midst of the challenge regardless of if that struggle is personal, systemic, or even a large-scale crisis. Sometimes that is in holding the sorrow and remembering that we are not alone. Sometimes it is in the lamentation. And sometimes it is in the rich ground of resilience that we water with our joy and gratitude. While I hope that ERUUF is a place you come with your celebration, robust and lively, I hope that we also can be a place for soothing and comfort in the midst of times of challenge. And that as you are here for some time, you become part of that network of love that can both support and be supported by others as you need and as you can offer.

For more information on community and support opportunities:

Saturday, March 16: Spiritual Practices Retreat for Times of Challenge

Growing Thru Grief: small group grief support after a death

ERUUF Depression Support Group

Or if you need Pastoral Care, contact us at

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