For the past few months, I have been away from ERUUF on sabbatical. As I return this month with a sense of restorative rest on many levels, I am also present to a feeling of immense gratitude to this congregation for the gift of time. This week I noticed how I am not yet in the same overdrive gear as the rest of staff and have asked for patience as I calibrate to the everything-all-at-once speed of this active Fellowship. I love and appreciate so much of what is here in this special place (staff, people, projects, values, mission, and more!) and I am eager to re-engage in the work of shared ministry with all of you—hopefully at a more balanced pace.

In planning for sabbatical, I was initially disappointed that I couldn’t find a retreat or workshop that spoke to me, so I decided to create my own personal retreat time in different ways. The first challenge was simply slowing down and giving myself permission to unplug and stop being “productive.” I literally had to force myself to let go of developing projects, agendas, and deadlines, even on a personal level. This led to deep dive of exploring meditation in a variety of forms and a concentrated focus on listening at deeper levels to the rhythms of life, both within and around me in the world. More being and less doing.

For a couple of weeks in October I visited with family and friends in the New England area, then came back to my new routine of extended meditation practice at home in NC. For the final month, I deliberately placed myself in a different environment to move out of the comfort zone of the familiar and into the diverse world of Los Angeles. I stayed at a small place near the ocean in Venice Beach and resumed my spiritual practice routine there in a place where the rhythms of life are colorful, at times chaotic, and full of surprises.

Often I was able to watch the sun set over the ocean and fill the sky with a rich painting of colors, drinking this in with appreciation. Daily my walking meditation would take me along the vibrant boardwalk scene full of people walking, running, or riding all manner of vehicles (bikes, skates, scooters, strollers, skateboards), while also navigating a wide range of vendors, artists, musicians, vacationers, locals, and pets. Concurrently, people engaged nearby in a variety of sporting activities (beach volleyball, pickle ball, football, basketball, soccer, surfing, dancing). And, regardless of activity, almost everyone had a booming speaker to fill the air with music. For me, the sights and sounds of this unique California vibe became part of a meditation practice of being present to life, even it its fullness, loudness or chaotic-ness. Instead of resisting the confluence of so many energies that from one perspective could impinge on a sense of stillness, I learned to embrace these dynamics as a spiritual practice for remaining centered in the full flow of life.

Was I always successful? No. Did I feel annoyed sometimes by what I saw, felt, and heard? Yes. Did the habits of needing to feel productive keep chasing after me? Yes.

Yet, each time I felt pulled off in any direction, I consciously chose to bring myself back to center, back to acceptance, back to compassion for life. I chose to slow down, notice, and engage life as a spiritual practice. The overriding focus through this time of practice was cultivating a sense of gratitude, and to expand this even more deeply in my body and being, with every step, with every breath.

December can often feel like a time where life can feel full to overflowing in so many ways. Even if some of the fullness is fun and fulfilling, the season can leave us feeling stretched or drained at times. However, it does create an opportunity to explore sacred rest and remember to be here now in this present moment and meet life as it is. Sometimes we call this Presence.

In the season of giving, how can you give yourself the gift of time?
Time to slow down, time to listen, time to grow deeper in appreciation.
How can you share the fruits of this gift with others?

Gratitude is a gift that keeps on giving.

It also is a superpower that can change the experience of time from not enough to unlimited by bringing us again and again into the generous present moment.

May it be so.

Daniel