We are human and so we don’t always get things right. Apologizing thoughtfully for our mistakes can mend fences, and it can foster right relationships by strengthening trust. Here are tips on how and when to apologize, with examples.
- Be Timely
Tip: Apologize as soon as you realize you’ve made a mistake.
Example: “Oops! Sorry for interrupting you. Please continue.” - Take Responsibility
Tip: Understand that not intending harm does not erase your impact.
Example: “I didn’t mean to upset you, but I can see how you would be hurt, and I’m sorry.” - Be Specific
Tip: Clearly identify what you’re apologizing for, and show you understand the issue.
Example: “I realize now I shouldn’t have asked you what to cook as a welcome dinner for my new Black neighbors. It’s disrespectful to ask you to represent your race, and it sounded like I assume all Black folks like to eat the same thing. - Express Regret
Tip: Show that you genuinely feel remorse for the impact of your actions.
Example: “I regret not being there when you needed support. I’m truly sorry for letting you down.” - Avoid Excuses
Tip: Focus on the apology rather than explaining why the mistake happened.
Example: “I’m sorry I was late to our meeting. I have no excuse for disrespecting the group this way.” - Make Reparation or Take Action
Tip: Provide a way to make amends or demonstrate a commitment to change.
Example: “I realize now that I misused your pronouns. I know this is important and I’ll make special effort to get it right from now on.”
Wise Words
“You wanna fly, you got to give up the thing that weighs you down.”—Toni Morrison
